Here come the Sith...

...and they're bring Cobra and the Legion of Doom along for good measure. Here's how they plan to attack Obama:

"Now, Obama's about to endure a going-over that would make a proctologist blush. Why has he sometimes said his first name is Arabic, and other times Swahili? Why did he make up names in his first book, as the introduction acknowledges? Why did he say two years ago that he would "absolutely" serve out his Senate term, which ends in 2011, and that the idea of him running for president this cycle was "silly" and hype "that's been a little overblown"?

In interviews, strategists in both parties pointed to four big vulnerabilities: Obama's inexperience, the thinness of his policy record, his frank liberalism in a time when the party needs centrist voters and the wealth of targets that are provided by the personal recollections in his first book, from past drug use to conversations that cannot be documented.

Beginning with his announcement for president on Saturday, the long knives will be out for Obama from three directions: Reporters, perpetuating the boom and bust cycle of a ravenous media culture, will try to make up for fawning coverage of the past. Democratic rivals want to get him out of the way. And some top Republicans think the party would have a better chance with Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, D-N.Y., as the nominee, since she is a known quantity while

Obama can try to define himself as anything he wants.

Officials at the top of both parties calculate that Obama has risen too fast to sustain his popularity in the cauldron of a presidential campaign. Democrats talk of "vapid platitudes" that could produce a "soufflÃ-effect" an implosion as journalists and activists begin probing for substance behind Obama's appealing promise of "a different kind of politics" and "a new kind of politics.""

Whew glad this was put up, or else he'd have no idea what was coming. Being that as it is, here's a few tips I'd like to give the junior Senator:

1) Regarding of the origins of your name, think of the great Bard and his phrase "A rose by any other name..." Swahii or Arabic, don't both have great traditions which should be admired just as much as a German or English? Should Giuliani or Clinton be ashamed of their backgrounds?

2) You sought to protect the idenities of the people in your books, a silent covenent between you and those people. So far no one who has been outed or identified as those people has complained that they were mischaracterized, so why should we?

3) True you said that you would finish out your term, but you're fortunate enough to be so young in the game that you haven't been put on the record as flip-flopping on bigger and more important issues like your opponents. Point that out, and remember that ultimately that promise was a bond between you and your constituents in Illinois. If you should pay for that it would be there. (But I doubt it)

4) If your candidacy is "hype" remind the media that it's the people who will decide on how serious your chances are. I think that the candidacies of Rudy Giuliani or Mitt Rommey are just as much "hype" as yours if not more so. Fact is you're is still a long shot, but as any candidate will say it's still early in the ball game, and in the latter innings the game is up for grabs.

5) Your inexperience is a factor, but not overwhelming. Clinton's years in the Senate only overshadow you by one term, and Edwards by even less. Stress that your inexperience in Washington makes you a true outsider and thusly a sincere choice to those who don't want "business as usual"

6) Appeal to your strengths: You're the most elequent speaker the Democratic party has produced since Bobby Kennedy. Rhetorically you can run rings around your opponents, and, with the exception of Edwards and Kuchinich you're ready to phrase things in terms of class warfare which will be the battleground the Bush adminstration has left for 2008 as the people begin to recognize that our foriegn and fiscal policies were based more on class than national security. Use that "frank liberalism" to your advantage and you might (stress on might) have a chance.

7) But no matter what--don't shoot yourself in the foot. Meaning that you have plenty of time in your career and a bright future ahead. Take strong stands but don't overreach and please, please don't take any advice from John Kerry. Oh please Jesus, don't do that.