What do Vice-President Dick Cheney and FEMA have in common?
Answer: It takes them at least a week to respond to a tragedy.
The cover of Newsday today: Blame Me! (Under a picture of Cheney). No shit Sherlock. Who was I going to blame? I can't even pin this one on Bush, and God knows I tried.
Eight days is how long it took the VP to respond to the allegations that he shot his friend Harry Whittington during a hunting trip, even though, from all eye witness reports, it seems as if Cheney had been innocent of any wrongdoing. Law and Order could have solved this one in half an hour (because you wouldn't have needed the Order part, get it?) Saturday, after five days of refusing to talk about it at all, and another two days of White House urging, Dick Cheney answered some hard questions about the subject during a Fox News interview with Brit Hume.
Wait. Did I just say 'hard questions?' Sorry my bad. 'Hard questions' and Fox News should never be written in the same sentence, especially when it deals with any one in the Bush administration. Regardless Cheney said that, "...it was, I have to say, one of the worst days of my life."
Dear Lord. I would play the world's tinniest violin but you wouldn't be able to see it. There just seems to be something so vile, so hypocritical about Cheney making that statement that I think my computer is going to blow up. "Worse days of your life..."yeah Dick, and it was a hallmark moment for Whittington. Well, he definitely will be getting tons of Hallmark cards in the hospital. Dick sure lives up to his name.
Now there's been a lot of speculating about why it took so long for Cheney to come out and address this issue. The Daily News today hypothesized that it was Cheney's disdain for the media and need for privacy that made him clam up. And is it just me or are these hypocrisies just mind boggling...you know? The man who's for wire tapping, needing his privacy?
Dear Lord, give me the strength to finish this post without my head launching off my shoulders and exploding like the Space Shuttle.
In fact, according to the News, when Cheney was Gerald Ford's chief of staff in '76 his was quoted as saying, "In this town, when you stick your head up, you get it shot off."
Oh God, now the irony...can't...head popping...must finish post!
Personally I have another theory as to why Cheney didn't talk about the incident. I think Rove and crew took this situation to deflect the attention away from the Deficit Reform Bill and the wiretapping scandal. I'm not saying that Cheney purposely shot Whittington and told him to take one for the team--that's what Scooter Libby is for--but I think they used their political savvy to use a minor issue to distract the media. During this week, the lead story pretty much every night has been the Whittington shooting. They have to put out bios on all the characters, they have to find and show as many pictures and videos as possible that have Cheney hunting or holding a gun (and you'd be surprised how many of them there are! There's more pictures of Cheney holding a gun than Wyatt Earp), then they have to do a report on quail hunting, the ranch where they entire thing occurred, and...well you get my drift. And when it all simmers down, like it is now, half of us look up from this wondering what the hell else happened this week, and the other half looks up and wonders how Bode Miller could have screwed up what should have been an in-the-bag Gold medal.
Next Week! Rumsfeld "accidentally" throws acid on White House spokesman Scott McClellan in a very special episode of Jackass.
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