That's right...Angelina and I are secretly going out. I really only let her be seen in public with Brad Pitt to protect my identity, but really her partner name should be Teethelina. And frankly I'm a bit upset over the harsh criticism coming at her from alot of hatas out there about the $26 dollar dress she wore to the premiere of "A Mighty Heart". Look here's the real story...she was busy with me before the premiere, and needed to find an emergency dress. At first she wanted to go to Armani but I was like, "Look, you're Angelina-freaking-Jolie, you could wear a paper bag to the premiere and you'll still look good!" Our compromise: the vintage gown. Anyway no one seems to notice that she also wore $800 dollar shoes! Doesn't that make her snobby enough for you? I think it's a much bigger waste to spend $800 on shoes than on a dress, but hey, that's just me, I only service Angelina, and frankly that's enough.
Now for the real news...
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