Friday, July 25, 2008

People Are A-Holes: Germany Speech Edition

So you're the first African-American candidate seriously considered for President of the United States. You're very popular world wide and following the advice of your opponent you decide to visit Iraq. And while you're out there you decide to make a lap around the rest of the middle east and Europe because the weather's nice and they're like important or something and you might have to like deal with them later. And while you're in Europe you decide to give a speech in Germany cause they have a really big space and you wanna talk to people cause people (200,000 in fact) want to hear you speak.

And so you give this speech, which is historical for many reasons: a black US Presidential candidate speaking across the sea talking to people who don't even speak his language and look, well, less tan, and you talk about coming together and you talk about fighting poverty and you talk about combating the terror of violence, of hunger, of suffering, and you compliment your audience on their accomplishments and you compliment your own country as well and you tell them that you're 'a citizen of the world', a way to bridge the gap between you and them. You're as eloquent and inspiring as you've always been and for the first time since 9/11 you see Europeans waving American flags rather than burning them.

For a moment shit seems pretty damned good.

So what happens then?

Well of course you're attacked and criticized.

This reminds me of that Chris Rock skit about how men can't satisfy women:

He calls himself a 'citizen of the world', oh he's saying he's too good or too big or too much for just America. He says he loves America, oh now he's ignoring the world. He doesn't wear a flag pin, oh now he's too good for us. He wears a flag pin, oh now he's pandering. He makes a good speech, he's too intelligent, he makes a bad speech...oh wait that hasn't happened, so he's an elitist.

If Obama discovered a cure for AIDS people would probably complain that the cure gives you headaches. I'm done.

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