"The Americans should know that if they assault Iran their interests will be harmed anywhere in the world that is possible."
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen Aya, we may not know much about you, but we do know something about us, and threatening us is like Tim Robbins digging his way out of Shawshank Prison--we'll get it in about 20 years, after both our countries are being controlled by those dudes from the Mad Max movies. If we decide to invade your country, you could get the whole Wu-Tang Clan, and the Mad Rapper to threaten all day long and it wouldn't mean a thing to us and Israel as well. I'm not saying you're not going to hold up your side of the bargain, but let's look at you; Iran, working on its first nuke, and America, with our nuclear arsenal. We're like a bodybuilder at a bar working on his fifth pitcher of Blue Ribbon--we have our beer muscles, we're yearning for a fight, and if push comes to shove we will bite off an ear just to preserve our perfect record.
And don't forget about your entire region's record on following through with their threats. Remember Saddam, "The rivers will run red with the blood of the infidel!" Yeah...you meant "the rivers will run red with the blood of our people didn't you?" And trust us, it wasn't because we weren't killing you guys off at a record pace, but your dimwit population decided to help us out with your "Sectarian violence." Yeah, that was a nice one there. Good lookin.
The only one of you guys to really come close was Bin Laden, and look at all he had to do just to accomplish 9/11. And if we look on the leader board we see, Bin Laden: Two towers, a dented Pentagon, and 3,000 people, and US: Iraq and Afghanistan (the entire countries) and over 150,000 dead. A very far cry away from us begging for our lives like mongrels like what Bin Laden threatened.
Listen I'm not saying this to be a jingoist, or to throw it in your face. I leave stuff like that to Dennis Miller and FOX News. But like a famous rapper once said, "Don't talk about it, be about it." As you can see, we just laugh at empty threats. If you really wanna be menacing then here's what you do: Don't say nuttin. That's right, don't say a word. Just sit at the UN, and whisper and pass notes to China and Russia. Go out drinking with Pakistan and then when the US enters the room, stop talking and look at your beer. Eventually, the US will think that you're up to something REALLY terrifying, and like that girl you liked in high school (you know, the one who let you see her ankle, and could recite every verse in the Koran) she'll wonder why you're not sweating her, and take the first step.
Otherwise you're eventually going to have to follow through with all that yang you're spouting and you don't really want to do that--I mean look at Tupac and Biggie--do you want to end up like them? Cause ultimately you're not going to win this one, but everyone will lose.
Except for me, I'll be in a hot spring in Iceland with my girlfriend and my three mistresses. Boo-ya!
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